Talk Tuesday. Let’s talk about friends with benefits. How do you feel about it? Have you had a friend with benefits, who caught feelings first? I have 5 mistakes women make when friends with benefits.
I’m having a conversation with my work Bestie and they bring up how their female friend continuously ask their advice on what to do with a male that they’ve caught feelings for. This female friend is late thirties early forties and has been friends with benefits with this man for over five years– yes 5 years. The problem is as she continues to ask for advice she doesn’t take it, deep in her feelings this man is not emotionally attached.
Don’t catch feelings. You’re not in love. You are in lust. Friends with benefits means its simply about sex and nothing more. Good sex can cause you to be emotional and not thinking clearly and naive to the situationship. When you’re friends with benefits you can’t do girlfriend like things. For example, cooking, and buying gifts.
You can’t change a man’s mind. If his intentions were made clear at the beginning, then that’s what it is. You can’t be okay with what his intentions are but have the mind-set that he’ll change his mind later down the line. I’m not saying it’s not possible but 9 times out of 10 he wants a friend with benefits and nothing more.
Know your worth. At a certain age we have to realize our worth as a woman. You have to have standards. If you begin to catch feelings you need to let the situation go because it will only lead to you being hurt. There is nothing wrong with having a friend with benefits but when feelings get involved it becomes complicated.
Understand the meaning of friends with benefits. A friend whom one has sexual inter course without a relationship or commitment. Not emotionally involved. Know your place. You don’t question his whereabouts, you don’t go on dates. No commitment means no strings attached therefore there should be no drama.
Say what you mean, mean what you say. If you want to know if there is a possibility of you becoming more than a friend, have that talk. Nothing worse than assuming. If he tells you there is no chance he’s being honest and giving you the chance to make a choice of where you go from here. If he isn’t emotionally involved he’s less likely to pillow talk or care about what you have going on in your life, so don’t feel some type of way if he isn’t there for you when you need advice.
I hope this was helpful. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.
Thanks for reading.