At 2:30am I went to have breakfast with my lovely cousin, whom we always have the best thought-provoking conversations. Conversations about careers, relationships, fashion, and of course social media. Our conversation inspired today’s topic for #MisunderstoodMonday. Men’s misconception of a single woman tends to be a bit lost in translation.
My cousin is very much single hence why she is like my “go-to” random hang out, grab food, go out for drinks partner in crime. Went out to Ihop because we were both starving, I was working on my site all evening while she was out working. Conversations with her I can see things from different points of view and vice versa.
Our conversation was about how men don’t respect boundaries and aren’t interested in being solely friends without moving towards a potential relationship.
Single but not looking to date. A guy can assume “oh she’s single let me make my move”. You can express to him that you’re single but you’re not interested in dating right now, no matter what the reason maybe, (focused on career, education, self) he may be okay with being friends for the moment but in his mind he still wants to pursue something with you. A lot of enjoy goes into dating and we make time for what we want to make time for, being a personal choice. When you choose not to date it doesn’t mean you’re bitter, you simply want to better yourself, get to know yourself before you can put effort into someone.
Friends of the opposite sex. What happened to having male friends that you can hang out with, talk on the phone, seek advice from, enjoy their company without any strings attached or anyone catching feelings?! My cousin made a great point “treat me how you would treat one of your homies”. It shouldn’t be complicated to be genuine friends with a guy these days. Me personally I feel as though its essential to have friends of the opposite sex in your circle.
Make your intentions known. Be clear in what you’re looking for or not looking for. Give that person a choice to make their own decision how they move forward with you. If I tell you I’m not interested in dating but I am open to getting to know you on a friend level, then that’s what it is. Flirtation is prohibited. Don’t try to persuade me otherwise of why we should date. Even with fellas if you’re not looking for a relationship but you want to have fun and see where things go, make that known up front as well. Females have a tendency to try to change a guys mind when it’s already set.
Boundaries. It’s very important to know your place and know where you stand with a person. This is coming from a person whom is easily turned off and the slightest thing can make or break whether or not I speak with you tomorrow. If we’re friends it’s just easy to not feel obligated to check on you , text/call you daily, make plans with you , feel bad if I don’t respond right away. There’s no need for me to be at your house in the middle of the night, refrain from drunk texting/calling. Let’s not be weird. If you’re in a relationship I want to assume your significant other knows about your friends of the opposite sex because then it would make it seem like it’s more than a friendship that you’re after.
Ladies and fellas don’t be weird, awkward, know your place. Let things flow, be genuine with your intentions no need to force a friendship or relationship.
What are some things that guys misinterpret about a single woman? What are some things that women misinterpret about a single guy?